If you can raise your child right, you have accomplished the most precious reward in the world. A child’s upbringing decides what his/ her future be like and how he/she would grow to be an ideal, responsible, and true Muslim adult.
What sounds like a simple duty, parenting is a huge responsibility considering the number of theories available that preach the right way to raise a child. Especially, in terms of Islamic Parenting, there is a different level of ambiguity as to how one can raise productive and true Islamic children.
Understanding the plight of new parents, we have made this guide on Islamic parenting that answers all your doubts related to parenting in Islam.
Before we move forward with this article, one must remember the words of The Prophet Muhammad – ‘Children are an Amanah for us as Muslims, a responsibility as much as they are a gift. It is our job to make sure they become hard-working, productive, and most importantly, God-fearing individuals who will be an asset to the Ummah.”
What does Islam says about Parenting?
A Muslim needs to understand his/her role as a parent. The parent is responsible to make the child responsible for its future and prepare them for the world hereafter. More importantly, Islamic parents must prepare their children to be the inheritors of Islam and hence teach them all teach to prevent themselves from the hellfire.
Parenting from an Islamic perspective is broad but revolves around 5 basic principles of Islamic parenting. The 5 principles of parenting that one must in grain while taking care of their child state:
- Children are born pure
Here it is believed that every child is born pure and pious and it is later the influence of the environment, and what he sees, hears, feels, and learns from the people around him. Every child is sinless and has no internal traits to act mischievous or rebellious. If the child does something wrong, it must be blamed on the parents and not the child.
- Parents have a responsibility to lead and guide their children
A child learns from its parents who set up a role model for their child. It is the responsibility of the parent to lead and guide the child on what is right and what is wrong as per the Islamic perspective. A parent must create a nurturing environment around the child and filter the people that enter that environment.
- Leading and guiding are done with kindness and mercy
However, to make the child understand the right values and grow into an ideal Muslim man or woman, one must not take the way of cruelty. Instead, it is imperative to lead and guide the child with dull kindness and mercy. Cuddles, playfulness, and appreciation are the true measures to take up with a child under Islamic parenting.
- Children need boundaries
Being kind and merciful does not mean that you should allow your child to do whatever pleases them. The Prophet says that it is important that you draw a line between acceptable and unacceptable behavior. While it is important to offer the freedom of behavior, the child must also understand its limits.
- Children need responsibilities
An ideal Muslim understands their responsibilities. The child must be prepared to shoulder his/ her level of responsibilities to take major roles in the future. The child must prove itself important and useful to the society and this sense can be ingrained only in the growth years.
What are the rights of children in Islam?
Islam not only tells the parents to guide and lead their child but also preaches on the rights of the children. The children must be taught their rights as well as provided with them. Islamic parenting states the following rights stating that children have a right to:
- Be fed, clothed, and protected until they reach adulthood.
- Have the respect, to enjoy love and affection from their parents.
- Be treated equally, vis-a-vis their siblings in terms of financial gifts.
To make it clearer, Imam Ahmad bin Hanbal has clarified that it is justified for a parent to offer special treatment to a child if he/she is physically handicapped, blind, on any other shortcomings that make him/ her different from her siblings.
Apart from this, a Muslim child also has the right to:
- Not be forced by his/her step or birth parents.
- Be provided adequately by parents in inheritance.
- Education as much as he/she aims to receive.
What are the responsibilities of a father in Islam?
While a father is responsible to provide financial support to his family, his duty as a father covers several other aspects. In the words of The Prophet, “Every one of you is like a shepherd responsible for those under his or her care; a man is a shepherd and responsible for the welfare of his family; a woman is a shepherd responsible for her household.”
This implies that a father must provide adequate financial support along with:
- A peaceful and loving environment at home promoting the spiritual and moral development of the children.
- Teachings that nurture religious and moral values ensure the children lead a life of love, mercy, and compassion.
- Inculcate love for Allah and his messengers along with respect and accountability before Him.
- To make the children aware and develop social consciousness and compassion.
- Teaching Islamic parenting so that the child raises pure Islamic children in the future.
What are the responsibilities of a mother in Islam?
Islam places immense responsibility on the mother as compared to the father as she is the one responsible for giving birth to a child as well as ensuring his/her Islamic teaching. The mother has the prime responsibility to ensure that the child is raised in the shade of the teachings of the Quran and Sunnah. She acts as the first school for the child and ensures that what she teaches lasts long in the mind of its kids. Right from early childhood, a child must have a love for Allah and The Prophet which must be ensured by a mother.
As a mother, you must also teach your child gentleness, love, patience, and respect for Islam and elders. The more you indulge in Islamic practices and activities, the better you allow your child to learn from your acts and absorb them. If you want practicing children, you must first become a practicing mother.
Daily Habits for A Muslim Child
The parents play a crucial role in ensuring that the child grows up as a true Muslim and for it, teaching essential Islamic habits is the first step. To teach the right way to lead an Islamic lifestyle, a Muslim parent must inculcate the right manners, etiquette, and actions in the child.
To raise a true Muslim, one must develop the following daily habits in a child:
1. Greet with Salam to the person who wakes them up in the morning
2. Offer Fajr Namaz after waking up
3. Washing hands three times after waking up
4. Indulging in ablution before sleeping at night
5. Offering 5 times Namaz punctually.
6. Reciting Duas when looking into the mirror, leaving the house and entering the house, before sleeping, when putting on clothes, and more.
7. Saying ‘Bismillah’ before eating, ‘Alhamdulillah’ after eating, and ‘Alhamdulillah’ after sneezing.
8. Saying ‘YarhamukAllah’ when someone sneezes and responding to ‘YarhamukAllah’ with ‘Yahdikumullahu wa yuslihu baalakum’
9. Doing zikr of Allah when surprised, startled, angry, pleased, and more.
10. Eating with the right hand.
11. Reciting Ayat al Kursiy after every salah and before bed.
These are some habits that can grow the love of Allah in a child and make him an Islam-loving Muslim as he/she grows up.
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1. Aadab - A Book on Islamic Etiquette
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5. Productivity Principles of ʿUmar II: ʿUmar bin ʿAbd al-ʿAzīz
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Islamic Duas for Kids
Apart from developing a conscious Muslim child, a parent must also teach their ward to read Duas to Allah. A parent must ensure that their child is well prepared to take forward the Islamic civilization and for that, must be taught the right way to strike a balance of spiritual aspects. A responsible parent must teach the child the following Islamic duas:
1: Dua when waking up
الْحَمْدُ للهِ الَّذِي أَحْيَانَا بَعْدَ مَا أَمَاتَنَا وَإِلَيْهِ النُّشُو
“Praise is only to Allah Who gives us life after He has caused us to die and to Him is the return.”
2: Dua before sleeping
بِاسْمِكَ اللَّهُمَّ أَمُوتُ وَأَحْيَا
With Your name, O Allah, I die, and I live.
3: Dua before eating
بِسْمِ اللَّهِ وَعَلَى بَرَكَةِ اللَّهِ
“In the name of Allah and with the blessings of Allah, I begin (eating)”.
4: Dua after eating
الْحَمْدُ لِلَّهِ الَّذِي أَطْعَمَنَا وَسَقَانَا وَجَعَلَنَا مِنَ الْمُسْلِمِينَ
“All praise belongs to Allah, who fed us, quenched our thirst, and made us Muslims.”
5: Dua before going to the washroom
اللَّهُمَّ إِنِّي أَعُوذُ بِكَ مِنَ الْخُبُثِ وَالْخَبَائِ
“O Allah, I seek refuge with you from all evil and evil-doers.”
6: Dua after the washroom
“(O Allah) I seek forgiveness and pardon from You.”
7: Dua before leaving the house
بِسْمِ اللهِ ، تَوَكَّلْتُ عَلَى اللهِ وَلَا حَوْلَ وَلَا قُوَّةَ إِلَّا بِاللهِ
“In the name of Allah, I place my trust in Allah, and there is no might nor power except with Allah.”
8: Duas for Exams and studies
رَبِّ اشْرَحْ لِي صَدْرِي وَيَسِّرْ لِي أَمْرِي وَاحْلُلْ عُقْدَةً مِّن لِّسَانِي يَفْقَهُوا قَوْلِي
“O, my Lord! Open my chest, make my task easy, and loose the knot from my tongue, so they understand my speech.” Surah Taaha verse 25-28